How often do you commit to working but then don’t even start? Thought of exercising every day, but did not begin. That assignment which you put off till the last minute. That project you procrastinate while mildly panicking as its deadline creeps closer and closer with each passing day.
Sometimes you do begin, but there is no significant progress. It’s not just that you get easily distracted. You seek distractions, like an addict. As if someone has put a spell, you are completely out of control.
You might have also researched all the tips and tricks on how to stop wasting time. Or watch some videos motivating you, but here you are. Nothing seems to work.
You waste your day doing everything but your work, all the while knowing what you should have been doing. Each day you sleep with the guilt of not being productive but end up wasting the next day again. You promise yourself tomorrow will be better but the cycle repeats. Your heart gets filled with burning hatred towards yourself. You just want to give up.
You feel that you are good for nothing.
I am going to explain to you a technique I came up with after I struggled with procrastination for years. I tried practising everything — all the time management tricks and tips I read in multiple books and the research I did scavenging the internet for anything that could help. The Pomodoro technique (working in 25 mins chunks of work and 5 minutes of breaks), tackling the toughest task first, creating a schedule, keeping track, prioritising the tasks at hand, setting goals, just making myself sit for work – ‘Just do it’, creating reward system and on and on. It’s not that they didn’t help. But only to a point. Sometimes, nothing worked and I felt like shit. I was stuck in a cycle of procrastination and depression. The worst was motivational videos. They just gave a sudden boost to my productivity which would fizzle out as quickly as it started.
I realised achieving productivity is not just a matter of practising a ‘To-Do’ of methods. It needed to be solved at the root. Something deep within which needed correction.
‘Thumbs up in the Jar’ is a technique I invented on how to stop wasting time. Why is it effective? Because it attacks the root cause. It helped me and I am sure will be effective for you too.
The technique works on a simple principle – Look for the good and appreciate yourself. You cannot be productive till you keep on beating yourself up for the lack of productivity. It makes you feel like crap. The paradox is that the best way to be productive is to first feel better.
I’ll show you how.
How to stop wasting time: ‘Thumbs up in the Jar’ technique
You don’t start feeling shitty and depressed all of a sudden. Depression is sneaky. It crawls into your life slowly and steadily until you realise it is too late.
Do you realise why this happens? Why do you get depressed? Why do you waste your time and get stuck in the cycle of procrastination and depression?
It all begins with that first loss.
You decide to wake up at 6 in the morning. You look at the watch and it’s already 8 am. What do you do then? You begin your day by telling yourself this crap — “I can’t even wake up when I decide to wake up. I haven’t even begun and I am already a failure. I am good for nothing.”
(Loss 1)
You decide you will start your work at 9 am. Time goes by and it’s already 9:35 am. — “I can’t even commit to starting anything on time. How am I supposed to achieve anything? I am good for nothing.”
(Loss 2)
“Ok, I’ll take a break for half-hour.” And then 2 hours later. “I have wasted so much time. There was so much to do but I completely messed up the schedule. I am good for nothing.”
(Loss 3)
You keep up with this crappy self-talk throughout the day and then sleep with the guilt of not being productive. What do you think happens next?
You repeat the cycle. Why?
Because you counted all your thumbs down (small losses) and stored them in your jar. In the night you open the jar, count all of your small losses and feel bad about yourself. You make yourself believe that you are good for nothing. This is exactly why you repeat the cycle.
Often your productivity becomes worse because of this crappy way you treat yourself. And all it does is give you further evidence that you are good for nothing. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You tell yourself you are unproductive and lo and behold it becomes true.
What I am trying to tell you is the exact opposite of the way you talk to yourself right now. In order to find out how to stop wasting time, I want you to appreciate yourself. Why? Because you deserve it and it’s going to help you. I know you don’t feel that way but it is because you are looking at everything through the wrong lens. Instead of all the small losses (Thumbs Down), start counting all your small wins (Thumbs Up) and put them in your jar.
“Ok, I woke up later than when I decided. But did I start my work? Yes? Great!”
(Win 1)
“Hey, it’s already 2 hours and I still going strong. Good for me!”
(Win 2)
“Alright, my break got extended by more than what I had accounted for. But I am at least starting my work right now.”
(Win 3)
You keep adding your small wins (Thumbs ups) in the jar throughout the day. At night you open your jar to count them. When you appreciate yourself, slowly over a few weeks, you will realise your “I am good for nothing” changes to “Hell yeah, I am awesome!”
Why does it work?
Because you beat the feeling of being depressed by focusing on the good – Thumbs Up. You then acknowledge and appreciate yourself. Focusing on the good improves your mood. Your improved mood makes you want to do your work. Wanting to do your work improves your productivity. Improving your productivity beats your depression.
It’s all related.
There are always good productive initiatives that you take throughout the day. All I am trying to do is bring your focus to it rather than just fixating on the things we sometimes mess up. Once you start this cycle, it will start boosting your productivity by default.
But this technique on ‘how to stop wasting time’ will have its greatest impact if you use it effectively. Let me show you how.
How do you practice – ‘Thumbs up in the Jar’?
Monitor how you talk to yourself
The majority of our problems are caused by the way we treat ourselves. And, sadly, we treat ourselves like crap. Despite all our efforts, all the wins and all the progress we have achieved, all it takes is one negative comment, one mistake or a small failure to bring ourselves down. That single thought questioning our abilities is enough to generate an avalanche of conveniently curated memories focusing entirely on our defeats. It causes us to reach a mental state where it is almost effortless to destroy the entire day making it sad and unproductive.
When you monitor the way you think or engage in a conversation with yourself throughout the day, it gives you an opportunity. A chance to turn it all around before all hell breaks loose.
- Observe – See where your thoughts take you (Cue: The way you feel currently). If you feel bad. Go to the next step.
- Stop! – Stop the thought process right now. Trust me, you can. Because now you are conscious of your thoughts and it’s not a default process. Proceed to the next step.
- Find Thumbs Up – Look for the Thumbs up in this situation. If you can’t, it is still ok. At least you have put a stop to the negative thought process from further ruining your day.
One of the most damaging things you can do is tell yourself you are good for nothing. It is simply not true. Because you are trying every single day. Appreciate yourself and stop fixating on just your losses. Practice it and you will find how to stop wasting time.
Acknowledge your Thumbs ups
There are so many scenarios where you win, where you earn a Thumbs Up. So many! But even in those scenarios, it is quite common to focus on what went wrong. For example, how often do you blame yourself that you forgot something? Almost every time, right? But you just remembered that you had forgotten. So now, because you remembered, you can work on it. This is a Thumbs Up! In this instance where you should appreciate yourself, you blame yourself.
Acknowledging your Thumbs Up helps you to address not only the obvious wins but also situations you might otherwise consider losses. The simple act of noticing your Thumbs Up is enough to finally acknowledge all your efforts and brighten your day.
Divide and win
When you are battling frustration and depression triggered by procrastination, Small Wins are an antidote. One of the ways to achieve them is by dividing your work into sub-tasks and checking a Thumbs Up every time you complete one. These small accomplishments help in boosting your confidence and improving your overall mental health. This catapults you to keep on going and achieve all the other sub-tasks further improving your productivity.
In case you find yourself procrastinating on a specific sub-task, instead of finding ways to waste your time, pick another sub-task for a while. You can then circle back to the original one with the momentum that you have now gained.
Stop setting yourself up for failure – Decreasing the Thumbs Downs
You might not have control over the deadlines thrust on you. But it is possible to control the time constraints you put on yourself. Missing out on a self-imposed deadline is a major Thumbs down because the primary thing you do when this happens is to blame yourself. But what about effort estimation which created the deadline in the first place? Couldn’t that be wrong? Most of the work we deal with has uncertainties which we can’t possibly account for when we begin. This results in the creation of unrealistic deadlines which might never be achieved. What about the uncertainties in life or other important commitments where you have to put off your work? Did you account for that? What about mental fatigue especially while doing creative work or non-routine tasks? You are human. You need breaks to rejuvenate yourself.
It is important to have buffers and flexibilities in the deadlines or schedules we thrust on ourselves because we don’t know what life will throw at us. Once you realise you are human and not a productivity machine, you begin the process of decreasing your Thumbs downs. Be a little compassionate to yourself. Just a little and appreciate yourself.
Recalling all the Thumbs Up before you sleep
The way you begin your day has a major impact on how you feel for the next 24 hours. But how you wake up is already decided by the way you feel and think of yourself when you go to sleep. A frustrated and unhappy mind going to sleep is not going to wake up in a mental state to tackle and embrace a brand new day.
Recalling all the Thumbs Ups before you go to sleep either mentally or through journaling helps you to acknowledge all your small wins. This is a very important part of the ‘Thumbs Up in the Jar’ technique. Notice all your wins and appreciate yourself. You deserve it. A happy mind sleeping will be a happy or at least a neutral mind waking up. This quickly puts a stop to destroying tomorrow because of the way you think you handled today.
You can use all the other tips and tricks you learn for time management on top of the ‘Thumbs Up in the Jar’ technique. They can be a good surplus. But you must apply this technique to tackle the way you feel at its root.
Do I still procrastinate and get frustrated? Yes, sometimes I do. But now I know what I need to do to get myself out of this downward spiral of procrastination and depression. I hope this method on how to stop wasting time helps you as it did for me.
I know there is always room for improvement. But that does not mean you don’t appreciate yourself for where you have reached and what you have accomplished.
Keep going. You are doing great.
If you have other ways you might be tackling your procrastination and the resulting mental state do let me know in the comments below.