A suitcase, a small carry on and my laptop. These were all the possessions I was living with for more than two years. My work did not allow for a peaceful life. Life was always on the go. New cities cohabitating with unfamiliar apartments became the places providing me with a fleeting refuge. The visit could be for a few weeks or sometimes even mere days before I had to pack all the belongings and head towards the unknown again. Soon, I stopped unpacking altogether.

Everything changed, constantly. The people to meet, the cities to live in, the offices to work, the places to eat and, the bed to sleep. Whatever I encountered had a short life. Everything ended. All that was left were the melancholically beautiful memories. 

Throughout the journey, I made a lot of acquaintances and friends. Wonderful people who went out of their way to support and help me. But with no obvious reasons, the relationships eventually drifted away. Time had thus played its role. People came and went. The only constant companion, solitude.

I had always sought peace. But this life with its turbulences seemed anything but peaceful. To survive, I had to adapt. Adapt to its constant changes. But through these adaptations emerged lessons. Ironically, lessons for a peaceful life! I used to think this was a difficult and unique way of living. But I realised everything I experienced was life itself. The only difference? I was encountering decades worth of life in a matter of a few weeks.

The following are the 10 lessons I learned to live a peaceful life while undergoing an unstable lifestyle.

You don’t need the things you think you really need

Life on the go forced me to take only the absolute essentials. It was painstaking to leave behind all the possession that I just had to have. Those multiple pieces of clothes, the footwear for different events, all the electronic accessories that were so vital, that favourite work chair & table, the clock that I had to keep on it, and so much more that I used to have a place in my home. But once I left them physically, all of these necessary possessions, I slowly started missing them less and less. Until one day, they rarely crossed my mind. 

The things that I thought were absolutely necessary were nothing but luxuries I was taking for granted. I had become so used to them that I failed to realise my wants had been disguising as my needs all this while. Eliminating the possessions brought back freedom and with it, came peace.

The more you have, the more you want

Once I started eliminating possessions, my life started to become simpler. I did not have to have anything anymore. Earlier, there was an appearance that I thought was to be maintained so that everything goes well with each other. The sofa had to have a matching table cloth. That premium laptop had to have equally premium accessories to go with it. That newly bought smartphone had to have that cool phone case. The more I had, the more I wanted. I was creating a facade, an image of how I should project myself in the world. It was exhausting and a major obstacle to living a peaceful life!

But once material possessions decreased, the expenses drastically reduced paving a way for a simpler living. Ironically, the less I had, the less I wanted. I realised it’s not satisfying all my heart’s desires but controlling them in the first place that could be the key to living a fulfilling and peaceful life.

Neither the good nor the bad things last forever

There was a city office with projects where I performed mediocrely. Failed again and again. There were others where I outperformed everyone. Places where I made friends for life and others where I was all alone. Personal tragedies which coloured visit to a beautiful city depressing and cheerful encounters which turned seemingly an ordinary city into a joyful experience. All the good experiences which I desperately tried to hold on to, ended. All the bad encounters which I tried to escape from, ended in their due course of time, naturally. 

By living on the go I understood neither the good nor the bad things last forever in life. The realisation created a peaceful effect on an otherwise havoc life could become.

Whenever I found myself brimming with pride and the euphoria didn’t seem to fade away, I remembered – This won’t last forever. 

And when the days were tough and things seemed hopeless. When I questioned what my life had become, I remembered – This won’t last forever.

Everything’s temporary. And that’s what makes it beautiful

My entire world, everything I knew kept on ending and beginning again and again. But everything ends and something new begins. That’s how life is. The people whom I liked, admired or loved would naturally drift away without even my realisation, or things would just end abruptly. Sometimes I would be having conversations with someone without knowing that was the last time I would ever talk to them. The cities I lived in or the apartments which were my home would slowly fade into oblivion as I moved on. I was living decades of life in mere months. This made me notice the magnitude of all the things that were good in my life right now which I had been completely blind to.

I started seeing life through a filter where mundane encounters brought a smile to my face. The breaks with colleagues where we discussed each other’s lives. The smell of freshly prepared tea. That space in the office where I absolutely loved to sit. The cab rides and music I had to force myself to listen to because the driver loved it and I was too polite to say otherwise. The weekends spend doing absolutely nothing at a friend’s apartment. All the experiences that I rarely acknowledged now became so valuable. A formerly anxious and empty life slowly started to fill with abundance and became a peaceful life!

The inevitable temporariness of everything made it absolutely beautiful.

Yesterday’s luxuries. Today’s necessities.

The more luxuries I possessed, the more I became habitual to their presence. The way they brought me pleasure the first time I experienced them, I would never feel that excitement anymore. But eliminating them brought grave discomfort and ruined my mental peace. My yesterday’s luxuries had turned into today’s necessities. And the more belongings I had, the more necessities I created. What a horrible cycle to get stuck into!

But there was a way out. As the constant travel forced me to limit the things I carry, I went through a process of pain & frustration to eventual freedom in a matter of weeks. The initial discomfort slowly led to brimming joy and peaceful life.

Law of diminishing returns – Pleasure

Once there was a time I had never sat in an aeroplane. I remember how exciting and scary that first ride was. That first paycheck I received and the feeling of independence it brought. The firsts of everything brought in great joy. Living on the go created many such firsts. The visits to beautiful cities all across India, the frequent air travel, the corporate stays in premium hotels and their lavish breakfasts, and the new offices and colleagues. But as I kept up my routine, the novelty slowly vanished. The returns of pleasure decreased with each subsequent use. With each repetitive cycle, the pleasures started decreasing until there was hardly any left.

I became aware that all the things I crave today, once I repeatedly experience or possess them, wouldn’t bring me joy at all. The chase for the newness accompanied restlessness. And as I mellowed down the chase because there were no permanent pleasures, it mellowed down my life.

Decluttering your physical environment creates peaceful life and productive mind

As my attachments decreased, my life started to declutter with it. And slowly it started affecting the way I thought and approached life. I realised most of the thoughts both the positives and the self-harming ones were created because of the cues the mind picked up from the physical environment around me.

Once I became more organised and decluttered my surroundings, it slowly started calming my mind as well. A sense of peace generated through eliminating distractions led to a more focused mind creating a productive environment.

There is goodness everywhere.

People are wonderful. 

I remember being for work in Kolkata, a city in West Bengal, India. This was my first time in this city. First time away from my home. Everything was new and unknown. I didn’t know a soul. I was afraid.

Residing in my company allotted apartment was a cook. A man in his early 50s with a smile across his face all the time. Sensing my fear, he made it his aim to eliminate it. He taught me Bengali — the language spoken in the city. He guided and often accompanied me to places to visit, shop, and eat the city’s famous street food. Taught me some of his amazing cooking skills, prepared that food more often which I loved and shared his life experience when I sat to eat. I realised there was this guy living 1000s of Kms away from his family, with barely any vacations and a meagre salary helping this kid out whom he barely knew. My problems could be termed privilege from his perspective. Yet here he was with a smile on his face always thinking about how he could make others’ lives better.

There were many such people I met throughout my travels. People, I would forever be grateful. If you really look for it, you will always find people who bring joy and peace in the turbulence of your life.

Being alone could be scary. But you need it.

I know people who would do anything to avoid spending time with themselves. Forcing an outing, inviting people over, keeping themselves busy all the time in the guise of loving productivity, barraging their senses with all sorts of music, movies, series or browsing away their time on a phone call just to avoid a few minutes of solitude. Afraid to be with themselves else their mind starts chattering. It is very uncomfortable to be alone. Sometimes scary. Living on the go was full of events where I couldn’t avoid being alone. This is how I realised the importance of solitude.

Being alone does not mean being lonely. You can be lonely even while being surrounded by people. But solitude helps you to be comfortable in your own skin. 

Being alone helps you to know yourself. It slowly reveals your deepest fears and your greatest strengths. If you don’t know yourself, life becomes messed up. You can’t have good relationships without understanding what you like and dislike. Neither is it possible to have a better relationship without being comfortable with being alone. You can’t lead towards the life you want to build until you know where you want to head.

Being alone for a while is an antidote for making quiet the chaos of life. There cannot be a life of peace until you are directionless.

Solitude doesn’t need to create life-altering epiphanies. A small amount of alone time inserted into your daily schedule can easily freshen you up to restart your day. And the busier you are, the more you need solitude to pause and get rid of the feeling of being overwhelmed.

To begin, I started with 10 minutes of alone time, without any distractions. This itself played a significant role in starting to be comfortable with solitude and its resulting silence for me.

Be present in the now to have a peaceful life!

Life on the go was fast-paced. I could miss significant experiences if I wasn’t in the moment. I realised life is nothing but a string of ‘NOW’. The future is yet to be painted. The past is already gone. All that is left is ‘now’. If I am not in the present, am I even living?

What do I mean by being in the now? It means not being fixated on the memories of the past, reminiscing on the good or complaining about the bad, or constantly worrying about the future. A person that is constantly living in the past or the future is a person who is worrying, frustrated about the lack of life she imagined or missing the past she cannot possess again. This is a person stuck in a state of constant inner turmoil. How can there be peace?

Practising being present in the now is helpful to achieve the life of peace that we seek.

Are there any more ways you try to create a peaceful life for yourself? Let me know in the comments below.