Do you ever think of just running away?
Away from everything when life becomes too much to bear. A plan that you often conjure up to escape from life’s clutches to reach a place of hope. A place which gives you a semblance of peace. It could be a place deep into the woods, a quiet beach, a mountain hidden away from civilisation, or a happy place that only belongs to you. A place that makes your dream of a peaceful life a reality, even if it is all for a moment.
Maybe you visit the place of hope sometimes. But it’s never enough. And even if you want more, you kill your heart’s desire and trudge on. Because you are in a cage of responsibilities, ambitions, a desire to change the world or an unease deep within to not lose in the imaginary race of life. So even at times when you have the keys to the door, to live a peaceful life, you don’t.
You have been so brave, yet you feel so weak. You have been so strong, yet you feel crushed by life. And as you still courageously go on, the chaos of life inevitably starts creeping within. The feelings of frustration, stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and fear clothed as anger never leave.
Tension is built due to the indecision between two seemingly impossible choices — living a peaceful life that is a life of simplicity and happiness OR living your daily life filled with chaos, which you will not leave.
Is there a way to live the best of both worlds? Is it possible to live a peaceful life within the chaos of daily living?
Yes, there is.
Simple to learn yet one of the most challenging things to practice that can block the external chaos from entering your life.
I call it the Wakeful Meditative State method. This method extracts the essence of meditation and applies it in our day-to-day activities to create a peaceful life.
[But… but… then why not just meditate? Why should we learn this new method?]
Because just meditating might not be effective for you. The Wakeful Meditative State method helps overcome those drawbacks. Let me explain.
Meditation: What is it? Why do we do it? And why it might not be suitable for you.
Why do we meditate?
The purpose of meditation is to create a strong and calm mind irrespective of external conditions. And a mind which is at peace inadvertently creates a peaceful life.
What is meditation?
Meditation in its simplest form is concentration.
Whatever we do in the world happens as a result of concentration. Whether we study, work, drive, read, write, care for another human being or any of the million other activities, all require concentration. Without focus, you cannot do anything. But this concentration is external and is often coupled with other unnecessary thoughts while we are engaged in our work.
Meditation is this concentration turned within and making it one-pointed. It is a one-pointed state which takes us beyond the chaos of thoughts jumbling across our minds to a place of calmness leading to a peaceful life.
Why meditation might not be for you
You can’t use it at the time of need
Meditation is great to detox your day’s stress and creates a peaceful mind after a long day. Or you can meditate at the beginning of the day to start it with a mind at peace. But what about during the day when you are out facing life? When you are going to an important meeting, or meeting clients that are crucial for your firm, or appearing for your exams, or something important which might panic you? Maybe the deadlines are too short, or there is a lot of ambiguity involved, or there are just too many things to do. These times are when stress, frustrations, worries, and anxieties creep into your life. Regular meditation is a good way to bring down the general levels of these anxious energies, but we cannot use it AT the time of need when we have to be calm to give our best.
You do not have time
Meditation needs a significant amount of time to make a difference. You might begin by meditating for 10-15 mins. But for meditation to be truly useful, you need to extend it to a significant period of 30-60 mins. With worldly responsibilities, not everyone has the luxury of sitting with their eyes closed for a long time.
You can’t practice it regularly
Like every significant practice, meditation needs consistency. You cannot just sit for a few minutes every other day and expect a peaceful life. Meditation needs to be a part of your daily schedule, or at least it needs to be done multiple times a week. A turbulent mind is resistant to meditation. You cannot expect to sit for half-hour whenever you feel like it and then complain that you don’t feel calmer than when you started. The mind can be tamed only through consistent efforts.
You do not have a proper place to meditate
It is silly, but it is true. Meditation needs a proper atmosphere. It needs a certain level of quietness, mild lights or complete darkness, and just the right amount of comfort at the place where you sit (not too comfortable that it makes you sleepy but not uncomfortable either that all your focus is on the discomfort). It needs the absence of any strong odours and a comfortable temperature. You create a peaceful life externally so that it transfers within. If even one of the requirements is not satisfied, the mind can easily fixate on that one discomfort throughout the time you are trying to meditate.
You cannot sit idle with your thoughts
Have you tried sitting idle with your thoughts? If you haven’t, you are in for a big surprise. You will understand the true meaning of aloneness when you are beginning meditation. For some people, it is too much. The self-sabotaging thoughts, the sheer randomness of everything and the uncomfortable feeling of being in silence are why people give up meditation when they are beginning. The results of a peaceful life come when you get past these states, but most cannot handle the discomfort of the beginning.
The Wakeful Meditative State method
Remember the purpose of meditation? To create a strong and calm mind irrespective of the external conditions.
What if we can achieve that in another way? A way that can overcome the shortcomings that make meditation unsuitable for you? Which can give you more opportunities throughout the day to live a peaceful life?
If you want to live a peaceful life, you need a method to remain at peace every single waking minute of your life.
The Wakeful Meditative State method can help you be centred in peace, in a meditative state while you are awake and engaged in your outside activities.
Meditation, as I explained earlier, is one-pointed concentration turned within. What if we keep the one-pointedness by avoiding all the unnecessary thoughts but turn it outside? It can help us live a peaceful life while being productive and performing our tasks.
The Wakeful Meditative State method involves two parts:
- Engage your senses
- Breathe – The focusing technique
Let’s see how to practice the Wakeful Meditative State.
Example 1: Physical activity when the mind is free
Let’s consider a simple daily chore — washing dishes. While doing this task, how should you practice the Wakeful Meditative State method to create a peaceful life moment?
Feel how the tap turns slowly, offering slight resistance when you are trying to pour water. Hear the sound of the water as it splashes the dishes — the gushing sound slowly pushing them, causing them to create the squeaking noise as they brush against each other. Feel the coolness of the water on your fingers, palms and wrists as you begin to wash the dishes. Feel the touch of the scrub as you pick it up and pour the dishwashing liquid on it. Smell the soapy fragrance and watch the little bubbles as they arise while you move the scrub in a powerful yet gentle way as you wash the dishes.
‘When you realise that your mind has been wandering away in other thoughts (and it will), gently try to bring it back by focusing on your breath. Feel the breath moving in your body and listen to the inhalation. Feel the breath exiting the body and listen to the sound of exhalation. Repeat and focus on your breath till you are back in the present and your mind and body are realigned to the single task — washing the dishes. If the mind wanders again, repeat the breathing focus technique and return to the present.’
Listen to the water bouncing off the dishes as you clean them with soap. Feel the cool droplets falling on your body when the water bounces off. Listen to the sound of the plate as you keep it away.
By thoroughly engaging all the possible senses – touch, smell, see, hear and taste, the Wakeful Meditative State helps you be in the present and enjoy the moment. It detaches your mind and avoids overthinking or unnecessary thinking that the mind turns to by default.
And when the mind starts to wander off (and it often does) you bring it back by focusing on your breathing. Then you begin again, engaging the senses and just being in the now. A peaceful life moment is created by detaching your mind from worries, stress and frustrations and giving your all to the moment.
Remember I told you this method is simple to learn but will be challenging to implement? It is because the mind tries to wander away by default. This is why you are uncomfortable doing any physical activity which allows your mind to be free. You have to have your earphones blasting in your ears while doing a chore or exercising or going for a run. Or you switch on the TV, Netflix, YouTube, podcast, or call someone to avoid feeling that silence.
But now, the next time you feel that urge, instead of your default escape pattern, focus on your breathing. And then go back and be in the present by engaging the senses.
Small efforts against our default habits eventually create a peaceful life amidst the surrounding chaos.
Example 2: Mind-engaging activity
How do you practice the Wakeful Meditative State method when the activity is not just physical?
Remember a time when you were immersed in your work. It could be while you were working in the office, studying, part of or leading a meeting, doing a project, brainstorming, etc.
Do you remember a moment when there was nothing but just you and the task at hand? No thoughts of doubts — what if I won’t be able to do it, or I might miss the deadline, or I am not good enough, or this is too much work, or this is boring/meaningless, or I am scared about the outcome of the task. None of that.
No thoughts about anything else happening in the world — the news you read, a random song you listened to once, opinions of people or the way they treated you, your unmet dreams or things you think are wrong in your life. Nothing.
All that there is, is you and the task.
Do you remember the joy of just doing the work? That rare moment when you didn’t give a damn about the outcome or deadline and were free from the stress. You did it just for the work.
That is your Wakeful Meditative State. The one-pointed concentration on just the task you were doing. It was a moment when you were highly productive while centred in peace within the chaos of life.
How do you reproduce it?
- Engage your senses
- Breathe – The focusing technique
Let’s say you are creating a presentation for an upcoming meeting on your laptop.
Feel the touch of the keyboard and hear the clickity-clack sound the keys make as you press them. Observe the beauty of colours and words painting in front of the screen. Observe how your ideas are taking a tangible form. How YOU are creating something out of nothing. Feel the joy of your aim, purpose and the content of the presentation slowly transforming into reality.
‘When you feel your mind had wandered off, bring it back gently using the breathe – the focusing technique.’
Feel the touch of the mouse pad as you move your fingers across and see how it transforms across the screen into a cursor which drags, drops, clicks and draws in the presentation.
The Wakeful Meditative State method came up as a solution for me after facing years of stress-filled work and failing efforts to drown down the overthinking patterns. It is challenging to put into practice. And it will take patience and a little compassion from yourself when you find your mind had been wandering off despite your efforts.
But once you master it, and you will if you practice it, it will help you create a peaceful life and live in a meditative state amidst the chaos of life.
And whenever you feel things are too overwhelming, pause for a minute and do ‘breathe – the focusing technique’ to calm yourself and begin again.
Be a little compassionate to yourself. You are doing great.
Let me know in the comments below how you found practising this technique.