What is the reason of my happiness?
Happiness is the reason why we LIVE and not just survive. Our ultimate purpose. We chase our dreams, a lifestyle, money, wisdom, life partner, travelling, intelligence, skills or meaning in life, all for happiness. Having the feeling of being fulfilled in our hearts.
But what is the reason of my happiness?
Do we really know the answer?
Yes?
Then why are there days when we feel euphoric? Everything seems just right. Pieces fall together as we imagined. Sometimes unexpected surprises bring us joy. But then we face days when things seem bleak. When our hearts struggle to beat while we are engulfed by suffering. Simple things like waking up from bed or brushing our teeth seem like climbing a mountain. We find pain and suffering everywhere. We scream ‘Why me?’ into a void which provides us with no answers.
And then there are days where we function on auto-mode. A way of passive living when things are not particularly bad, but they do not seem right either. Forgetful events and people are created from a routine. A rut. From the outside, people seem to think we have a great life. We have things that they have wanted all their lives. But deep in our hearts, we know something is missing. We try to escape passivity by chasing weekends, parties, vacations, more money, promotions or the arms of a loved one. And then we do feel better, for a while. But it eventually comes back to the same feeling. Something is just not right.
What is the reason of my happiness?
If we really knew the answer, then why do we suffer? Why do we not feel complete? Why are we not happy most of the time? What makes one day a good day and the other not so much?
Could it be that we are chasing happiness in the wrong direction?
Could it be that we do not truly understand happiness?
We all want happiness to be more frequent in our lives and last for a prolonged period, maybe even permanent. We all want to minimise the suffering in our lives. But to try to make this a reality, we need to understand why am I happy sometimes. What is the reason of my happiness?
Happiness is an age-old concept we humans have sought for thousands of years. It is a concept so old that the answer has always been right in front of us. It is something not to be invented but to be discovered. Something that has always been hidden in plain sight.
What is the reason of my happiness? – Three types of happiness by Bhagavad Gita
Bhagavad Gita or simply known as Gita is an ancient 700-verse scripture. It is a dialogue between the Pandava prince Arjuna and his guide and charioteer Krishna. Arjuna faces a moral and ethical dilemma when he has to battle his kin. To guide him, Krishna recites the Bhagavad Gita that goes far beyond his problems and explores ethical dilemmas, philosophical issues, suffering and happiness.
Within the 18 chapters of Bhagavad Gita lies the description for — What is the reason of my happiness?. It describes that every human has three broad types of guna or qualities. And these three qualities create their corresponding three types of happiness.
The three qualities which lead to the three types of happiness:
Rajas: Attachment to action — passion arising from thirst, attachment and desires.
Tamas: Attachment to negligence, sleepiness, and darkness.
Sattva: Attachment to happiness and knowledge.
Each of these qualities is bound to a human being with varying intensities among different people. And each of these qualities creates its corresponding type of happiness.
The three types of happiness from three qualities – Rajas, Tamas and Sattva
Rajas
What is the reason of my happiness? – For Rajas dominant individuals.
Rajas is passion. Desire. Rajasic type of happiness creates joy and excitement from attainment.
Do you remember the feeling of achievement, the uneasiness in your stomach which made you strive? That made you give your all, eventually culminating in accomplishment. Cracking that exam, a job interview, a project that shot you to fame or good ratings in your job, a sport in which you won, or finally attaining that man or woman of your dreams.
Rajas generates a type of happiness with attachment to action. The movement to chase and achieve. The drive that makes people successful in their pursuits — hobbies, jobs, studies, arts, sports and life partners. Rajas is the quality which generates happiness from wanting and getting what you want. A person in the depths of Rajas will indulge her entire life if there is a possibility of even the smallest gain. For people high in the quality of Rajas, nothing is enough. Driven by desires, they can be seen as successful individuals by current standards. With high ambitions, the world is their playground, and they are in it to win it.
Tamas
What is the reason of my happiness? – For Tamas dominant individuals.
Of the three types of happiness, tamas creates happiness with darkness — joy through lazying or being involved in activities that might be self-harmful or harmful to others.
Individuals dominant in Tamas want to sleep. A lot of their happiness is created through relaxation. They do not want to see even when their eyes are open.
They have little to no inclination to work and constantly find ways to avoid it. And if they are compelled to work, they can get enraged. Only when they have no choice, or it is a matter of their survival that they reluctantly do anything.
Tamas creates a type of happiness where individuals derive pleasure through actions that might be wrong. For them, rules are meant to be broken. They feel a surge of joy by doing things that are prohibited. Rather than providing constructive feedback, they love sticking it to authorities and systems.
If you mess with a person high in Tamas, they will get even with you. Tit for tat is their motto. Revenge is in their bones. They will not let go if they have any reason to believe you might have hurt them. They often justify their actions by claiming them to be justice. But their real motivation lies in the sheer pleasure they receive by watching the individual who they think has wronged them suffer.
Sattva
What is the reason of my happiness? – For Sattva dominant individuals.
Sattva is a quality that creates a type of happiness arising from goodness, knowledge and wisdom.
An individual high in Sattva gives immense importance to learning and knowledge. She seeks a life of purity, goodness and selflessness. A person who helps people without any ulterior motive. People are not the object of envy for her. She does not compete with them but is content with the progress of her and others.
Wise in her undertakings, she knows what to do and what to avoid, when to act and when to restrain herself, when to voice her views and when to be silent, what to fear and when to be brave. Her knowledge and wisdom guide her to the path good not only for her but for others as well. However, she does not hesitate to seek more knowledge and guidance from others, be it people, nature, books, etc.
Steadfast in her resolutions, she does not do the work with the aim of achievement. She does it for the love of the process itself. For her, the joy is in doing and not just the result.
Sattva dominant individuals strive to avoid the trap of just satisfying pleasures arising from indulging their senses. They heavily discriminate on what to see and what not to see, what to hear and what to ignore, what to indulge in and what to avoid at all costs. They undertake and pursue what is good, even if it might create pain in the short term.
The dilemma: Three types of happiness
An individual is a combination of the above three qualities. One of the qualities is usually more dominant than the others depending on the individual. The situations we face, our upbringing, our habits, and the time of our lives (childhood, adolescence, youth and old age) affect the dominance of one quality over the other. This means we can influence the power of one quality over the other two.
Do you remember when I asked ‘what is the reason of my happiness?’ We found that our happiness was fleeting. One day we were happy, and the next day we were suffering. Each type of happiness arises from these three qualities — Rajas, Tamas and Sattva.
Is there a quality, the dominance of which might make our happiness more frequent and lasting?
What is the reason of my happiness — Rajas?
We all want to succeed, and rajas seems to be doing that. Do we not want this to be dominant? Do we not want to prosper and get everything our hearts desire? But does achievement or success create my happiness? In fact, what is success for me? And when do I think I will have achieved it?
What is the reason of my happiness — Tamas?
Lazying seems bad but isn’t it so attractive? Does it not feel right to stick it to people who wrong you, just to teach them a lesson? Aren’t rules created to tame individuals while rebels are the ones who eventually change the world? But somewhere in our hearts, does it feel wrong to give in to this quality?
What is the reason of my happiness — Sattva?
Doesn’t a person dominant in this quality seem wonderful? So pure. But can anyone survive in this dog-eat-dog world by being this way? What about being in love with the process? Wouldn’t it be amazing? But can someone achieve anything significant or change the world by not caring about the outcome? And what does it mean to avoid pleasure which only indulges our senses?? Do I stop enjoying life itself?! Is it not torture? How can there be happiness through it? How will I even call myself ALIVE? We only have one life, dammit!
Let me make the case here for the quality Sattva.
The dark sides of Rajas and Tamas
The alluring trap of Rajas
“That which in the beginning, through contact between the senses and their objects, is like nectar, and in the end like poison; that happiness is declared to be rajasic.”
Bhagavad Gita (Verse 18.38)
Rajasic happiness is a type of happiness which is enticing. The trap of — if only I get this, THEN I will be happy.
People who chase Rajasic happiness are usually successful (in material possessions) yet deeply unfulfilled. Because nothing is ever enough for them. They keep running, thinking they will be happy if they reach the end, failing to realise that there is no end. The only way their race ends is when they die. They are rarely happy while running the race but think they WILL be once they finish it. These seemingly achievable false finish lines could be: being a topper of the class; entering their dream college; getting into a relationship with that girl/guy they had a long crush on; getting a job; getting a better job in a firm with a better brand; getting paid more than their colleagues or being promoted; getting married; having kids; switching to a more so-called fulfilling job; becoming famous; beating their competition; and on and on.
If they do not get what they want, they get enraged or depressed. They might blame the world, question their capabilities or hurt themselves. Or they might become heartbroken and give up, fearing any action they take might lead to more failure.
The anticipation of achievement excites them. It is what drives them consistently. Failing sucks, but it is much worse when they GET what they were chasing. Why? Because once they reach these false finish lines, they do rejoice. But like for a minute. They have tasted the nectar. But then slowly, a realisation starts creeping on them, that they still feel empty. So they begin running again to chase the next false finish line.
Their entire life is just this race, all the while feeling unfulfilled. They run intending to diminish their anxiousness, incorrectly thinking the antidote to their restlessness lies in reaching these self/parents/society-created false finish lines.
Whenever emptiness arises within them, they distract themselves, not knowing they are applying band-aids to bullet wounds. They search for happiness outside — at the bottom of a liquor bottle, another person, fame, money, respect, approval, etc. Never realising that things outside of them are rarely in their control, they are forever stuck in the cycle of pleasure and pain.
Thus people high in Rajas will always have absolute highs followed by soul-crushing lows. They do not control their happiness because the type of happiness arising from Rajas is based on expectations. Rajasic happiness is thus short-lived. If Rajasic happiness is the answer to “What is the reason of my happiness?”, then you barely have peace in your life.
Because peace follows renunciation of expectations.
The absolute ruin that is Tamas
“That happiness which both in the beginning and afterwards deludes the self, arising from sleep, indolence and negligence, is declared to be tamasic.”
Bhagavad Gita (Verse 18.39)
Tamasic is a type of happiness arising from the pleasure of NOW. They only care about satisfying their short-term pleasures while ruining everything that could be good for them in the long term. It is rare for them to delay pleasures to seek real happiness.
They do not relax between their responsibilities but rather work in between their relaxations. No sleep is ever enough. They only work if their survival depends on it or they are forced to do it, all the time being frustrated.
These short-term pleasure-dominant individuals are very prone to addiction. Be it food, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc., they do not do anything in moderation as long as it quenches their thirst right now. Whatever satisfies their senses is given the highest priority in their life.
Eating food only for the taste buds once in a while is alright, but they derive happiness by exploiting it. They rarely care about their health, ignoring the nutrition their body desperately needs. Even if it makes them suffer later, they will still consume food which is unhealthy for them only to satisfy their taste.
People chasing this type of happiness have their minds wandering aimlessly. They lack discrimination and thus find it difficult to distinguish right from wrong. They often feel justified in doing things that could be harmful to others and even themselves.
Quick to fall into infatuations, they often mistake it for love. It often quickly turns into a boundless obsession. They ruin their past, present and future if they think there is a glimmer of hope to quench this obsession, falsely attributing their happiness to it. They often ignore the feelings of others and care only about getting what they want.
Ohh, sweet, sweet revenge. If this individual believes someone wronged them, their entire being burns with hatred for that person. Rage-filled, their only aim is to get even and see the other person suffer, as they did. With emotions at the surface, they cannot think rationally and take actions that hurt themselves and/or their loved ones if there is a possibility of seeking revenge. In the depths of rage and sadness, they think that is the only way to happiness. Little do they realise that plotting revenge only allows people who hurt you to hurt you even longer.
Tamas creates a type of happiness which arises from the above scenarios making it short-lived. The guilt within sometimes is immense. But even if they see their life getting crushed, they still cannot let go of the immediate fixes through addictions, infatuations, lazying, over-sleep, revenge and pursuing morally and/or legally wrong activities.
If Tamasic happiness is your answer to “What is the reason of my happiness?”, then your pleasures are disguised as happiness while your inner self festers with guilt, shame, fear and self-hatred. You lie to yourself that you are happy while being a slave to instant gratifications.
Both Tamas and Rajas cause short-term pleasures disguised as happiness. The happiness eventually ends. Nectar in the beginning but poison in the end.
What is the reason of my happiness? – Why pick ‘Sattva’ and how to grow it?
“That which in the beginning is like poison but in the end like nectar; that happiness, born from the tranquillity of one’s own mind, is declared to be sattvic.”
Bhagavad Gita (Verse 18.40)
If your answer to ‘What is the reason of my happiness?’ is a Sattvic type of happiness, there is a possibility to create lasting happiness. Bhagavad Gita aptly describes sattvic happiness as ‘That which feels like poison in the beginning but is nectar in the end.’ Seeking it is painful when you begin. There are rarely any short-term pleasures associated with the quality Sattva. But when you build momentum and see the results of this quality, the happiness arising can be more frequent and lasting. And if you do it right while becoming immersed in Sattva, the strength of your happiness can be strong enough to rarely falter in the outbreaks of suffering.
Bhagavad Gita describes different aspects of the Sattvic type of happiness. Let us see their importance in creating lasting happiness and how we can consciously grow them.
Sattvic is a type of happiness arising from self-restraint and discipline
What is the reason of my happiness? — Sattva through discipline.
Sattva quality and its resulting sattvic type of happiness are nurtured by pursuing what is good for you and not just what you like. Both of these could be the same or the complete opposite.
Say you like a type of food — sweets. You cannot live without chocolates, ice creams, certain sweet dishes, cakes and pastries, and that extra spoonful of sugar in your drinks. But sattva quality is cultivated if you eat everything in strict moderation along with foods that are hot, sour, salty, bitter, savoury, etc. A complete wholesome balance for your body. Depending on your current needs, you might need to eat more of a type of food and eliminate something from your diet (food high in fibre, complete elimination of sugar, etc.)
Does it sound cruel, this self-restraint you put on yourself? What do you think is crueller? Is it indulging in food that satisfies your taste buds while ruining your health? Or is it caring for your body while offering it the nutrition it desperately needs? It is okay to indulge once in a while but not to completely sway away from your path. When you begin, it feels like poison, but once you start eating healthy, it will slowly make you more active and feel lighter. Your body will thank you for its better functioning, your skin will feel better, and your mind will be less foggy. Nectar in the end.
A sedentary lifestyle might be attractive but horrible for your health in the long term. Picking up that dust-settled yoga mat, going for a quick run, doing cardio or taking that long-awaited trip to the gym will rarely bring you pleasure as you begin. But once you do and keep going forward, even infrequently, it will slowly make your body active and mind calmer. Go for a run a few times and see how your mind’s aimless wandering and self-sabotage drastically reduces.
This pursuit of discipline by avoiding the trap of pleasure-seeking slowly helps us to calm our minds, making them more and more resistant to the anxieties of life.
Sattvic type of happiness — feels like poison as you begin but nectar in the end.
Sattvic is a type of happiness arising when you let go of the outcome
What is the reason of my happiness? — Sattva through letting go of the outcome.
But what does it mean, and how can it help bring lasting happiness?
Think about the biggest obstacles to your progress. What do you think it is? There are so many things we wish to succeed at (rajasic happiness), but most of the time, we are afraid to even begin. Why? Because of our self-sabotaging thoughts — What if I fail? What if I make a fool of myself? What if people do not approve of my choices? What if I suck at what I do? What if I am making a mistake and wasting my time? What if this, what if that, what if [inserts every single thing I think is wrong with me]?
Every fear for the things we wish to do arise because of our attachments to the outcome. Because we are so desperate to succeed, we do not want to make any mistakes. No failure. Everything needs to be perfect. So, we never begin.
But why is it that we have fear in the first place? Why does it arrive from our attachment to succeed?
Because of uncertainty. Because no matter how much you try, life is never in your complete control. Then why not focus on something in your control to overcome that fear? Focus on your actions. F*ck the outcome. If we give our best, the output is our best irrespective of success or failure. When we focus on the process and derive happiness from doing things rather than our achievements, we detach happiness from the uncertainty of the outcome and attach it to the certainty of our actions.
So ironically, not craving success can help you overcome your fears of failure and make you successful.
This attachment to the action (certain) rather than the outcome (uncertain) brings back happiness in our control. When our happiness depends on the results, it becomes the short-lived rajasic type of happiness. But if our happiness depends on the process, it can become the lasting sattvic type of happiness.
The detachment from the results that is uncertainty is one of the best antidotes in dealing with the anxiousness and worries created by life, helping our minds to decrease their agitation.
Life is right now, this very moment. Why do you want to be happy WHEN you achieve something? Choose to be happy right now!
Sattvic is a type of happiness arising from the tranquillity of one’s mind (Mind at peace)
What is the reason of my happiness? — Sattva through the tranquillity of one’s own mind.
We found that letting go of the outcome and practising self-restraint & discipline helps us bring our minds to peace. It also helps increase the longevity and frequency of our happiness.
How can a mind at peace create the type of happiness that can be lasting?
The primary reason why Rajasic and Tamasic types of happiness rarely last is because this happiness is derived from something external to us. It depends on an achievement, a person (life partner/family/friends), plotting revenge, lazying, infatuations, addictions, etc. Whether these externalities affect our lives for better or worse, as long as the reason for your happiness is outside of you, you will never be in complete control of it. Life throwing greatness or suffering at us can only be partially influenced by our actions but can never be completely controlled. The only thing in our complete control is our reaction. And this is caused by the way our mind handles what life sends our way.
The real reason for our suffering is not what happens to us but the resulting thoughts in our minds about what happens to us. Unhappiness and suffering are only triggered by external conditions. They do not generate them. These triggers create, sustain and multiply this suffering like a virus through our thoughts, complaints, and the resulting coloured view in which we we see everything around us. So the way our mind handles these suffering triggers is what ACTUALLY creates our suffering.
Let us understand this with a thought experiment.
I am going to ask you to remember the time when something horrible happened to you. Something that caused you grave suffering. Trust me, just do it.
.
.
.
.
Done?
How are you feeling right now? Are you feeling worse than you were a few moments ago?
[Well, duh! Obviously, yeah.]
What changed? This horrible event has existed in our lives since it happened. But why do you now feel worse than before you began this experiment?
The difference is the type of thoughts our mind now has and how agitated it has become.
Get it?
So Sattvic is a type of happiness that does not depend on anything external to ourselves. It is the resultant happiness arising from within, through the calmness of one’s mind.
But how do we achieve it?
How to create a peaceful mind?
Meditate.
Thoughts drive our lives. Transforming into actions, they become our reality. But as we found above, we rarely control our thoughts. It is our thoughts that control our lives. And these thoughts are triggered when our senses (look, feel, smell, taste, and listen) come in contact with the external world or when we get involved in harmful imaginations or dwelling on the past.
The regular practice of meditation helps us to slowly detach ourselves from the troubles of the world. How? By calming us down and slowly taking back control of our minds.
As we found earlier, suffering is only triggered by externalities but eventually becomes suffering through our minds.
Let me know in the comments below how you decided to grow the Sattvic type of happiness.