Mediocrity.

What is the first thing that pops up in your mind when you hear this word?

Poor? Bad? Below average? Unexceptional? Common? Shame? Talentless? That you will never become anything?

All the above are words we relate to failure. We would never want to associate ourselves with mediocrity. Being unexceptional can generate shame and hatred for ourselves and our work.

But what if that is the problem? That we are ashamed of our mediocrity.

[What is wrong with you? Who the heck wants to be mediocre? I want to change the world!]

Wait! Let me explain.

Suppose you like to write (like me). You sit for hours to think of a topic. It starts to seem that you are wasting time. Finally, when you decide on a topic, you take even more time to begin. Every sentence you start with signifies mediocrity. Everything is unexceptional. Words do not bounce, there is no rhythm, and the content is …. bleh. Everything you write looks pathetic. Why would anyone else want to read it? You believe — What I do is filled with mediocrity. A waste of time. Why am I even doing this?

Suppose you decide to run. Excitedly you begin, but start panting within a km. You cannot run anymore. Seeing the social media statuses of people completing 10k and 15k marathons, you are shocked at your poor capabilities. Convinced that you fail at yet another thing, you believe — Wow, something new filled with my mediocrity. A waste of my time. Why am I even doing this?

Maybe one day, you are assigned to a new project at work. You want to prove to your team and your boss about your worth. Even the thought of mediocrity in anything you do runs a chill down your spine. But you make mistakes, say things you shouldn’t have, and do not have the answers when put on the spot. You fumble and take decisions that turn out to be wrong. Realising you are unexceptional, you are ashamed of your mediocrity. You believe — “I can’t do this. Why am I even doing this?”

Too familiar?

There are dozens of initiatives which I gave up because I thought I was mediocre. Things I wanted to pursue but never dared to put into action. Because I was afraid the world would shame me and realise my mediocrity. What was the point in doing it if I wasn’t unique? It felt like a waste of time.

But the issue here wasn’t that I was unexceptional. It was me not being okay with it. Unless you are god’s gift to the human race with a rare unmatched talent, the rest of us HAVE to go through a period of mediocrity for the things we pursue. And we make the mistake of giving up when we are in it.

The valley of mediocrity

Encountering the valley of mediocrity is almost inevitable. It is a phase you go through when you begin and do not have enough knowledge, practice and experience. And the outcomes of your work are not just unexceptional but absolute shit.

Why do I call it a valley? Because it is an uphill battle against society and our mindset. Seeing yourself produce poor results, again and again, every cell of your being screams, “I am good for nothing. Give up, GIVE UP!”

Your first of everything will be bad — that article, the project, the assignment, the speech, job interview, presentation, all of it. But how will you reach the 50th if you give up on the first? 

To follow our dreams, we do not have to be exceptional. We only have to cross the valley of mediocrity. And once we do, the discipline and momentum push our life ahead.

How to cross the valley of mediocrity?

Consistency

We will fail. A lot. Trolls will make fun of us. Our own family might not support us if we venture out doing something that does not conform to their or society’s idea of happiness and success. Sometimes we won’t feel like doing anything. Other times we will question our worth, thinking we are making a mistake while all the “What if I would have done that instead of this..” scenarios run through our minds.

But no matter what, you show up and do your thing. Every day.

Let the outcome be shit. Let it be pathetic. We are not chasing perfection, not even excellence. We are looking for consistency.

And once you are consistent no matter what, you get enough practice and start developing a thick skin.

Learn from someone’s experience

Consistency will build discipline and help you practice. But you will not improve if you do not know what needs improvement. Guidance helps us to pinpoint our mistakes, and general guidelines help to avoid wavering from our path. You can receive it from personal interactions with experienced people in the field (which is difficult). Or it can be by improving our skills through various courses, YouTube channels, gaining information through internet research, and being open to (constructive) criticisms.

For some, the valley is deep and darker than others. It can take more time. It can take more effort. And to climb out of the valley of mediocrity, we cannot just be okay with being unexceptional. We have to embrace it. Own it. We have to stop it from embarrassing us.

Most of humanity never pursue their dreams because they are too afraid of being mediocre. But the first step to reaching our dream is accepting mediocrity and realising that it doesn’t mean we are mediocre.

To cross the valley of mediocrity, we focused on our actions. But what about our mental battles? For that, we learn to handle self rejection.

The disease of self rejection

The disease of self rejection is widespread. Thousands of people like you and me never even begin or reject their first few outcomes because they aren’t good enough.

Do you realise that you might be great at something you have never tried? Or gave up too early because you self rejected while going through the valley of mediocrity? Only a few things in life are worse than a crushed dream. A woman who has given up on herself. A man who does not want to put any more effort because — What’s the point? Being hurt physically might be recovered, but an amputated soul losses the meaning of life.

Let’s be realistic. Not everyone is great at everything they want to do. But how will you find out if you don’t try?

The things we pursue but fail hurt us. But the things we want to do but never dare to go for hurt more. The world is full of people who regret ‘not doing’ more than ‘doing’. 

[If only I had done that when I still had the time……]

Self rejection is often not evident. It is sneaky and hides behind its symptoms.

Subtle signs of self rejection

Turning down life opportunities

Do you often say ‘No’ to things you would have wanted to try? Opportunities come to you, but you playfully reject them under the guise of self-deprecating humour. It might seem that you are being humble, but you know in your heart that you are too afraid to try. Not because you ARE bad at it, but because you MIGHT be.

Procrastinating things we want to do

Do you procrastinate a lot? Not for something that you dread. But something you want to do and should do. It can be a sign of self rejection where we are too afraid to know the outcome. To face reality and find that maybe we are filled with mediocrity.

Wanting perfection

Reality is messy, filled with elements beyond our control. You might do everything just right and still fail. But if you want perfection, there is no scope for failure. And everything wrong becomes your fault. Why will you not self reject if failing, even beyond your control, terrifies you?

Blaming yourself for every small mistake

Are you too critical of yourself? Are there times when you do not let go of any opportunity to put yourself down? Being critical can sometimes be good as it helps us perform better. But fixating on our mistakes can make us forget all the goodness we have within. Forgetting that we are humans and bound to make mistakes, blaming yourself can destroy your confidence and take you on the path of self rejection. Why won’t you give up if all you see are your mistakes? Why would you even try if you think you are not good enough?

Once we start becoming aware of our self rejecting patterns, we can begin a process of overcoming them. And one of the best ways to uproot self rejection is to accept our initial mediocrity.

Why do you need to accept mediocrity?

To overcome procrastination

Accepting mediocrity helps us to move forward. It reduces the pressure of unnecessary high standards. We put things on paper and not just ideate. Why? Because we do not give a damn about how the outcome might look. We are okay with being unexceptional. We are focused on creating. Being fine with the idea of being unexceptional, we finally put action to our thoughts. We know that with time we will improve. But now is not the time for excellence. Now is the time to begin. If you are struggling with procrastination, click here to learn how to eliminate it by changing your thought process.

To enjoy our work

Why should following your dreams be stressful? While pursuing something you love, shouldn’t that process be joyful? Being okay with mediocrity is a tool which can help us detach from the anxiousness and pressure of doing a great job and focus on just doing our work. As you eliminate stress, you provide space for joy to flourish. When you enjoy doing your work, you do it for the sake of doing it. Not to prove to someone or to be successful. You do it because you want to do it. This joy inevitably makes sure that you end up giving your best. And when you give your best, the outcome is your best.

To build momentum

Once you overcome your procrastination, you start building momentum. A force that makes you unstoppable. You are not just talking, but you are all action. When you accept your mediocrity, knowing it is a temporary phase, you move forward consistently and find ways to improve your work as you progress. You do not shy away from doing things and making mistakes. You know you will take care of it as you proceed. The momentum builds further as you look back and see the path you already travelled.

To allow you to become better

Accepting the fact that you might be unexceptional gives you a chance to become better on the way. Not everyone’s a born genius. Not everyone you see producing amazing things was always great. They were in the valley of mediocrity like the rest of us. They became great because they kept on moving and improving. But how will we become better if we do not even begin? Accepting the inevitability of mediocrity gives us a chance to become better and someday maybe great.

To finally do the things you always wanted to do

How many dreams did you have since you were a kid but never pursued because you self rejected? Because you thought you weren’t good enough or afraid to show it to the world. Being fine with our mediocrity, we can finally pursue the things we only used to dream about till now.

To overcome the fear of rejection

If you have accepted your mediocrity, why would you care if others think you are mediocre. If we do not care for anyone’s approval, we cannot be scared of rejection. The acceptance of mediocrity helps us to proceed fearlessly. We know that step by step, we are improving each day as we keep on keeping on.

So, what are you waiting for? 

Go, be mediocre and chase your dreams.